To The Palestinian Girl Whose Parents Were Killed At The Seaside By Israeli Rocket,
I cried for you. And I don’t cry much. I cried for you silently, whilst you cried loudly. My eyes swelling up, staring at your face. My ears deafened by your cry. I cried for what they had done to you. I cried that you weren’t the only one to go through this. Your scream pierced me deeply. Your scream broke my heart. Helplessness gripped me. I wonder what gripped you. Besides despair and pain, great pain. Pain I can’t dare to imagine. I wanted to give you everything I could right there and then watching you throw yourself into the sand. Whilst they covered up your parents and siblings for the ambulance, whilst you cried hitting yourself, I wanted to open my arms wide and comfort you, to let you hit me instead. Whisper that this will all be over. I wanted you to scream your head buried into my chest. I wanted to stroke your hair and calm you. Cry with you. Whilst wanting to avenge those responsible for your pain. For your mother and fathers death. For your two brothers and sisters death. But all I could do was want watching you from thousands of miles away. Hopelessly.
I can rewind the footage of you. And I can re-watch. And then I can forget. I know you can’t. I know you rewind the moments before they were taken from you, over and over again. The best ones too. Maybe your first day at school when your mum dressed you. Maybe a birthday you had where your mum had done her best to find you new clothes, used, but new to you nevertheless. But then you remember the blood on the beach before you sleep. The bodies. When you’re quiet, when you stare, is that what you think of?
Do you have nightmares? It’s been 3, 4 years now. Do you still have nightmares? Do you wake up scared, finding it hard to breathe with no one beside you? No one to run to? Or are you now scarred with hatred. Do you wish death upon the enemy? Do you wish to avenge those who occupy your land and people like I do? Or do you just want long awaited peace?
I wonder where you are now. I wonder where you live, who you live with, what you do. I wonder if anyone is hugging you, comforting you the way I still want to comfort you. I want to show you the beauty of the world. I want to teach you the beauty of the world. I want to tell you everything has happened for a reason. I have seen you cry and collapse on hot sand, crying in agony. I want to make sure you never have to cry the way you did. Scream the way you did. I want to see you laugh. I want the only tears you wipe to be from laughter. I want your eyes to smile when you smile. I hope you smile. I hope despite the cruelty life has let you see, you can still find reasons to smile. Even if its the littlest one.
to the Palestinian Girl who’s parents were killed at the seaside by israeli rocket, dear Huda, I fight for the freedom and justice to be served for you, and your people. I cry for them too.
Watch the footage here.