Najwa Sheikh Ahmed
Word stands helpless in front of the continuous sufferings of the Gaza people, a continuous journey of migration, but this time the migrations inside the camps of Gaza, and inside the same camp.
I and my kids got very scared from the voice of the airplanes, and the bombings, so we decided to stay few nights with my husband’s family, We took the kids, some blankets, and joined the family, the funny thing that when we left the building where our apartment is, I and my kids saw a family that heading towards the building, with their pale faces, and scared lost looks, they were holding their blankets seeking a residence with relatives there, what a caustic situation……
A another immigration, but this time with no hideaway, we are targeted in an evil, malicious way, I was preparing a small bag to take with me, and my kids started to bring what is so precious to them, Salma brought shoes that she adores very much, Ahmed brought his small play station, and Mustafa brought his stuffed dog, things that sound so small but means a lot to them, I felt very bad as I knew that we might not return to this house, my kids still have too many things to adore and love, and they want to keep but I can not take every thing with me.
The children’s grandfather house is not so big, only 70m, you can barley find a place to sit comfortably without any body to walk over you. When we went there we found my husband’s sister with her four children seeking a safe place after she fled from her house in al Buraij camp, after she heard that a mosque is targeted nearby her house. So we ended up 9 adults, 12 children in a 70m only, imagine how the situation was???/
My husband convinced me to stay home tonight, and that we don’t have to bother our four kids in this rainy weather to go to his family house where we used to sleep in the last two days, as my kids feel more secure there as the house on the ground floor.
We finally have electricity, and I am trying to write before another hit occurred, though the weather is very windy, and rainy I can still hear the sound of the Israeli planes which make me very tense and scared.
Being a refugee is not a good thing, you won’t have much to enjoy, your life won’t be easy, so in a way life and death are the same for us, but as a human being and as a mother, and as many parents, speak and tell the feeling of may parents we want to live, we still have things to enjoy with our kids, we want to raise them, we want to see them grow, and continue their lives.
I still want to get old, to have my kids marry and had their children, I want them to bring their kids and stay with me, and I want them to call me granny.
Oh, Salma my sweet Salma, I still want to give her the advices she needs, I want to see her as a woman, and to handle her to the man she choose to be her husband, and I want to live a normal live.
My five months old Mohammed, he started to giggle in a funny way, and to smile in a funny nice smile, I still want to listen to him say mommy.
So, please give me the chance to do so!!!!!!!!!!!
January 1, 2009 By Najwa Sheikh Ahmed, Nusierat Camp-Gaza. Najwa Sheikh’s blog: http://www.najwa.tk/